3 de octubre de 2016

#NewRelease (+REVIEW) The Chronicles of Larry: Season One by Seymour Snatch and Seester McSeesterson



The book definitely NOT written by Sloane Howell and his seester...

The book your mother would NOT want you to read...

99 Cents on Amazon and FREE with Kindle Unlimited

Created by: Seymour Snatch and Seester McSeesterson


“This book made me want to expel my lunch, and should never have been penned.” - Honore de Ballsack

“The Chronicles of Larry is a juvenile telling of a vile creature that never met an object at which he wouldn’t shake his testicles.” - Vladimir Grabacock


Allegedly based on a true story (this cannot be confirmed nor denied)...

Many moons ago in a seedy alley that cut through the heart of Toledo, Ohio, Seester McSeesterson and Seymour Snatch stumbled on their way to a hotel room from an evening of drunken debauchery. In that moment, Seester noticed a leather bound journal illuminated by the bright moonlight next to a dumpster.

She never knew that when she opened it their lives would be forever changed. Contained therein was a journal of a man named Larry. For hours they poured over tale after tale of revenge of the highest order, the ultimate in chicanery, and lived out a romance for the ages, coupled with the most electrifying profane lexicon either of them had ever bore witness to.

They searched for years trying to locate this rockstar of revenge and purveyor of profanity, only to come up empty in every search. Soon after, they decided it would be selfish to keep to themselves this epic saga of one man’s transformation from every day office drone to freedom and f*ckery. So they transcribed his journal in order to release it to the world.


You should NOT read this book. This book contains the most offensive stories of all time and should be banned worldwide. Seymour and Seester are not responsible for any material contained herein and are merely vessels transporting these stories to the masses. Please proceed with extreme caution. You have been warned.


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When Seymour is not writing stories of c*nt f*cking and debauchery he enjoys growing jalapeno peppers in the shapes of dicks. He has also mastered the craft of urinating from towering heights. Nicknamed Niagara Balls as a child, his most recent exploit was pissing from the observation deck of the Burj Khalifa in Dubai where he was dubbed the “Sultan of Streams” by the local natives.


When not acting as a master wordsmith with Snatch, McSeesterson enjoys farting up local eateries and leaving gratuities that only contain the number nine. When asked about her favorite activities McSeesterson has been quoted as saying, “Watching someone eat a crop dusted cobb salad…” is something that she “enjoys immensely…” She has also described a good fart as “Eerily similar to a three act play structure…” which has made her “More cognizant as an author with regards to timing and pacing…”


I've spent a couple of days thinking what to say about Larry, but it's a little complicated. 

Larry is one of those guys who has a lot to say. He's snarky, and he's bored as hell with his life. He hates his wife, but he loves his kids... even though they are weirdos. This man lives for the happy hour at the end of the work day, also lives for the moments when he can make jokes about the male secretary of the office (always using a secret id, of course). 

This is like 'Married with Children meet The Office' kind of book.

Larry has a perfect routine in his shitty life, but all the jokes, drinks and action-movie secuences he has in his mind don't fill the void he feels. A void he doesn't know how to explain to himself. Larry isn't happy in his marriage, but he doesn't want to divorce, he doesn't enjoy his work but it's easy so he doesn't change it... We're a little like him, and our mind is filled with lots of things we think but never say. 

This first book of The Chronicles of Larry was hilarious. This is the most inappropriate book that I've read lately, and I loved it! 

It wasn't a romance novel (and that's cool), maybe is full of insults and cuss words (also cool), but as I was reading it feels less as book of fiction and more as a real diary. Some of the daily entries reminds me of my time in shitty office jobs, dealing with detestable bosses, and it's fun how you can relate with Larry in this. 

I don't know when the next book will be published, but I hope this would be soon.

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